The Birth of Eden Rose

I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. Philipians 4:13

Before I became pregnant, I knew I wanted my next birth to be a Christ-centered birth.

I am part of a facebook group for LDS moms who choose natural birth, and I have been following their posts in my feed for a few years. From time to time the idea of a Christ-centered birth came up and I loved the idea. Those who had tried it highly recommended the book "The Gift of Giving Life" by Felice Austin, Launi Axman, Heather Farrell, Robyn Allgood, and Sheridan Ripley. I borrowed the book from my sister. It changed me.

I went into this birth with a greater understanding of the sacredness of what I was doing. I was prepared to feel a deeper connection with God, Jesus, Heavenly Mother, my baby, Eve, and all the women supporting me on both sides of the veil. I planned to pray throughout the labor and receive priesthood blessings. I picked inspiring arrangements of Hymns about Christ to play during the labor. I pondered on scriptures and quotes about mothers, babies, and Jesus Christ and His love. Although I worried about complications and worst-case scenarios, I prayed throughout my pregnancy for a smooth labor, health for me and my baby, and to feel a closer connection to Jesus Christ. I never expected Him to answer those prayers with such perfection. 

I began having early labor pains in the first midnight hours of Friday June 23rd. As with my previous labors, they kept me up most of the night but didn't become regular or progress. In the morning, Myles gave me a priesthood blessing before leaving for work. The pains came and went throughout the day as I picked up my Mom from the airport and we went about getting the house more organized. Friday night I was blessed to sleep through the night. I woke up well rested and went through most of Saturday with no contractions at all. Saturday night as Myles, my Mom, and I were watching a movie, I began feeling pretty uncomfortable in my lower abdomen so I decided to take a warm bath and see if it would help. That's when the contractions started coming regularly - probably about 5 minutes apart. The warm water soothed my belly as I swayed through the surges. I was smiling. I felt so calm and happy. Myles came in to see how I was doing and he helped by being with me and answering requests. 

Eventually I decided to get out of the tub and go to bed. I figured if they kept coming regularly after getting out of the tub then this was probably real labor. I slowly sucked in air with each contraction and exhaled the tension while Myles rubbed my back. Contractions got closer, and at about 1 am Sunday morning I called the midwife, Katia. I described what I was experiencing. She wasn't completely convinced I was in active labor, but we decided that If they kept progressing we would meet at the birth center at 2 am. I put on my robe and Myles and I got everything ready to go. He gave me another blessing as we prepared for the birth of our daughter.

Surges were getting stronger and I moaned through them. We woke my Mom to tell her we were going and drove to the birth center. We arrived, chatted a bit, and they checked my dilation. 4 cm. They directed me to the birthing suite. The suite has a bedroom area fully-furnished with a queen size bed, side-tables, an electric fireplace, and a chair. Through another door is our large private bathroom with a large jetted birth tub and everything we could need. 

We got settled and turned on my music. I wanted to get in the tub right away, but the midwives recommended I move around to help labor progress. For a while I bounced on the birthing ball, leaning on Myles as he sat in the chair in front of me. I groaned through each contraction - stealing kisses in the quiet moments, enjoying the music I had chosen. 

I really just wanted to get in the water so we filled the tub and I put my swim-top on. I was so relaxed in the water. I leaned my head back against a towel on the back of the tub, and held Myles hand. I smiled, telling Myles how content I was, how this was my most relaxed labor ever, how there was so much love in that room. You might have thought I was high on pain pills but I had not had any medication! I was thinking of meeting my baby and of how much Jesus Christ loved that baby, and loved me and my family. Eventually I became so relaxed I started dozing between contractions and time slipped by. 

A couple hours later when Katia came to check on me I asked her to check my progress. 6 cm. That's all? I felt a little discouraged and let some negativity come into my mind. I wanted things to move faster. What laboring mother doesn't? This was my third labor, after all.

I thought about getting out of the tub and walking around to help things progress more. I got out of the tub and put my robe on. I stopped to sit on the bed and said a little prayer asking for guidance. I felt that I needed to trust the Lord's timing and not rush things, so I gladly laid down on the bed, propped up by pillows, and dozed between contractions for a while longer. Myles held my hand and I would squeeze it during contractions, then relax and go back to sleep. 

A little while later, I felt ready to get up and walk around. The morning light was beginning to shine through the windows. I had hoped she would be born by then. It was slow-going. I would take a few steps, feel a wave coming on, and stop to lean on Myles and groan and sway through it. My doula/student midwife would squeeze my hips to relieve some of the pressure. Then I would take a few more steps and repeat. We did a few laps like this when I got the news that my sister Fiona had arrived. I was happy and relieved to see her there. I had been letting my impatience create negative thoughts and I needed her. She took over as doula, told me how well I was doing, reassured me that all was going well and it wouldn't be too much longer. That helped a lot, but there was still some tension in me. I wanted labor to move faster. 

I got back in the tub and silently prayed again to know what I could do. I asked to try the nitrous-oxide the birth center provides. They showed me how to use it and I slowly breathed it in. It helped calm me, but pretty soon my fingers started tingling and I didn't like that so I stopped using it.

I asked Myles to pray for me and ask for labor to move faster. Myles, Fiona, and I all prayed together. A few minutes later the surges got stronger. I felt a stubborn cramp in my lower abdomen but the minute I tried to change positions to ease the pain another contraction was coming. Suddenly things were moving very fast. My body was telling me to push. A strong push ended with a pop. My water had broken. The midwives hurried in. Another push and I could feel the birth canal opening as the head slid right through. I was so surprised! That was fast! I wanted to hold her! I instinctively reached down, pushed again, and she slid into my hands. As I was bringing her up to me Katia stopped me to pull the umbilical cord out of the way.

I brought her purple, waxy form up to my chest, and she stretched her neck, lifted her head up high, and opened her eyes for the first time, blinking against the light. It was beautiful! It was like watching an angel stretch her wings and take her first flight. 

I loosened the tie on my swimsuit for skin-to-skin and someone placed a towel over us. I talked to her, told her I loved her and was so glad to meet her. I asked her if she liked the name Eden Rose. She didn't seem to object, so I announced the name to the room.

I can't compare this feeling to anything else. The feeling of awe as we all marveled over this precious new soul... it's so unique and sacred. I imagine I might feel similar when I see the Savior's face again.

I stand all amazed at the love Jesus offers me... Oh it is wonderful, wonderful to me.

Eden Rose Porter was born on June 25th at 9:29 am. She weighed 7lbs, 3oz and was 21 inches long. She fills my heart and my home with love and joy.

Baby Steps and Tender Mercies

Paisley's time at Primary Children's Hospital - Days 8 & 9

Over the next few days Paisley continued dialysis. It was tricky because they would plan a certain amount of time on the dialysis machine, and then it would just stop working and they would have to stop the whole process and reevaluate. Then, sometimes the catheter in her jugular would weaken and she would have to get a new one. That is another ordeal. It was worth the struggles because we could tell the dialysis was really helping her. Gradually, her lungs began to improve and she started to pee more (a sign of good kidney function). Meanwhile, we were still crossing our fingers that the breathing tube could come out soon.
Occasionally, the effects of the sedatives would weaken and Paisley would start to wake up a little. This was good because we could get an idea of brain function and she was showing some good signs, but it was also very hard for me and my family. When she would start to wake up she would grimace in pain, make strained noises, and try weakly to raise her arms. It was clear to me that she was hurting and there was nothing I could do to help but hold her hand and tell that I was there and I loved her. That combined with the constant ups and downs of dialysis and disappointment over the breathing tube was very hard on me emotionally.
The night of day 9 Was one of those break-down moments when I needed to get away and have a good cry. Myles and I left Paisley in the very capable care of the ICU nurses, went outside to one of the hospital gardens, and sat on a bench under some trees. We talked and cried for a while, and then we had an experience that was very special to me.
We were talking about trials and how God helps us learn from them. I told him I didn't know what God wanted me to learn from all this. He gently said:
"Why don't you ask Him?"
"He doesn't talk to me!" I cried and hung my head and sobbed. Myles went quiet. For what seemed like hours (but was really only a minute or two) I just cried. I felt so lost and alone.
Then, clearly in my mind came the scripture reference- Doctrine and Covenants 121. I opened the scripture app on my phone (thank you technology) and looked up the section. These verses stood out to me:

"O God, where art thou? And where is the pavilion that covereth thy hiding place? How long shall thy hand be stayed, and thine eye, yea thy pure eye, behold from the eternal heavens the wrongs of thy people and of thy servants, and thine ear be penetrated with their cries? [...] My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment; And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes. Thy friends do stand by thee, and they shall hail thee again with warm hearts and friendly hands."

It was as if God Himself were saying it to me personally. He was talking to me. I knew it, Myles knew it, and I knew that God was listening to my every prayer and cared about every detail of my struggles. I felt such comfort! Myles and I hugged and cried some more.
I am so grateful for the scriptures. I am so glad that I studied them in seminary and religion classes, and I am so thankful I knew that scripture well enough to find it when I needed it. I know that the scriptures are God's word and he speaks to us personally through them. They bring the spirit and open a conduit to heaven. If you ever feel lost and alone, open the scriptures. God is there for you and He will give you what you need. Whether you need comfort, love, or guidance, He is there for you always. Just reach out.

To the Music Therapists Who Sang My Daughter to Sleep

November is the month of Thankfulness and there are 2 people I am thankful for today. The problem is, I don't know how to tell them, since I don't remember their names.

To the Music Therapists Who Sang My Daughter to Sleep,

My 2 year-old daughter was in rehab in the Neuro Trauma unit of Primary Children's Hospital recovering from a very serious illness which had affected her brain. It was early September, 2014.
I was excited for you to come! I love music, and believe in it's power to help other's heal and stimulate development. You came prepared with your guitar and gave my daughter instruments to play along to fun songs designed to help her recovery. Her participation was minimal and it soon became clear that she was too tired to cooperate, and how do you persuade a struggling toddler? Wanting to help in any way you could, you offered to sing her to sleep.
"Are there any songs she likes to fall asleep to?" You asked.
"Do you know any primary songs?" I replied
In my church we use primary songs to teach children about Jesus Christ and God's plan. I don't think you were members of my church, but you did know one song - "I Am A Child Of God." You began to play. I sat there on the bed of the hospital room cradling my daughter, rocking her like a newborn, and I sang along.

"I am a child of God
and He has sent me here;
has given me an earthly home 
with parents kind and dear.
Lead me, guide me.
Walk beside me.
Help me find the way.
Teach me all that I must do
to live with Him someday."

I began the second verse; "I am a child of God, and so my needs are great." That line was all I could manage before the sobs came. I was overcome with thoughts of the great needs of my beautiful daughter, struggling to recover from this serious illness at such a young age. God had given her to me and it was my responsibility to take care of those needs. I thought of my own great needs as I was also struggling through this very difficult time. I thought of all the people God had sent to me to help me with those great needs - including the two of you.
You continued to play and hum along to the sound of my sobs. You respected my pain and sustained me with your heavenly tune. Your music brought such great comfort as I felt the love of the Lord for me and my daughter. My weeping was an essential release, a way to remove some of the stress that had burdened me for so long. Your beautiful music made that possible.
I believe that music can bring peace, hope, and healing in a most beautiful and powerful way. It connects us to those around us and reminds us that we are not alone in our emotions. Your music did that for me.

Thank you, for helping in any way you could.
Thank you, for using your amazing talents to benefit those who truly need it.
Thank you, for knowing the song which meant so much to me.
Thank you, for respecting the struggles of me and my daughter.
Thank you, for facilitating that therapeutic release of pent up stress.
Thank you, for finding the beauty in my pain and struggle.
Thank you, for sharing your love with me, and reminding me of the love of God, family, and friends.

I still weep when I think of this powerful experience. You cannot know the effect it has had on me, or the effect you have on all those you work with. My daughter probably doesn't remember you (I don't think she remembers anything from her time in the hospital) but I will never forget the power you gave me.

Thank you.

Sincerely,
Melodie, the weeping mother.

Paisley's Birth

 Paisley Kaye Porter

Born on her due date Oct 30 2011 at 7:53 am

7lbs 12 oz

21 inches long

Basically, I was in labor for over 4 days. That's if you count "early labor" which I think should be counted. I woke up around 3 am Wednesday morning Oct 26 with crampy contractions that were pretty strong. They were also pretty close together. I thought maybe it was the real thing! Then morning came around and they slowed down a lot for the rest of the day. The next 2 days were the same story: lots of contractions at night but slow during the day. However, they were gradually getting more regular so that was a good sign. I barely got any sleep, but it was good practice for real labor.
Friday afternoon I realized I hadn't felt the baby move much all day so I called my midwife and she suggested we go to the hospital to make sure everything was ok. It was. No problems with the baby. I was dilated to 1.5 at that point. Kind of disappointing after 2 days of strong contractions.
Saturday morning I realized that if I made a low moaning sound with the contractions it helped me to release tension and made the pain turn into more of a discomfort. I just had to close my eyes, relax my muscles, especially the muscles in my face, and focus on using that exhale/moan to release the tension in my abdomen. This is what it looked like:

Joey was helping me relax. :)

Myles was so great all day Saturday. He knew I didn't get much sleep and that the contractions were hard to deal with so he made me food and cleaned the whole house while still helping me time the contractions.
Finally, Saturday around 4:30pm the contractions started to feel different. I still felt that campy feeling but there was a lot more pressure with them, and some lower back pain too.  I told my sister who is a natural birth instructor and she thought it sounded like the real thing. We were diligent in timing the contractions after that, and at 9:30 they started coming 3 to 4 minutes apart. we waited a couple hours to make sure and at 11:30 Myles, my sister Fiona and I went to the hospital, but we knew they might just send us back home. They checked me and... I was at a 5! So they admitted me into the hospital.

It's funny how many people have this perception of "going into labor" like it happens suddenly and in a super exciting way, but most people know it's happening long before heading to the hospital. If your water breaks before going into labor that's a different story, but I read somewhere that only happens in about 8% of pregnancies.
The back pain with my contractions was getting worse. Fiona was my doula and she and Myles took turns giving me back rubs to help during the contractions. But it was still pretty bad. If it weren't for the back pain, labor would have been easy.
After about 4 hours in the hospital I was pretty exhausted and I wanted a break! I had only progressed to a 6 so I knew I still had a ways to go. I was hoping there was something that would help me to zonk out for an hour so I could regain my energy. The nurse gave me a drug called Fetanyl to help me sleep but it didn't do anything. Because of that I can't say my labor and delivery were 100% drug free, but I still call it a natural birth because there wasn't really any pain relief. If you are ever considering getting Fetanyl to help with labor and delivery, don't do it. It's not worth it. It doesn't even work, especially on back pain.
After that labor just got harder, mostly because of the back pain and because I was so tired. We knew the back pain was because the baby was in a posterior position, which means head down with her back against my back. This puts a lot of pressure on my back which causes the pain. We tried some different positions leaning forward to get her to turn anterior, hoping that would make the pain go away. It didn't seem like anything was working and I was too tired and weak to stay leaning forward for very long. By this point I was thinking that if we couldn't get her to change positions I would get an epidural, not just because of the back pain, but also because I've heard it's very difficult and painful to push out a posterior baby. Update: one important detail I forgot to mention. I remember at this moment praying that God would help me by getting Paisley to turn so I could have the natural birth I wanted. We called in the midwife to see if she knew of anything else we could try to get her to turn. Right before she came in I felt the baby move but I thought it was just an arm or a leg. Soon after she came in my water broke with a big pop! They say when your water breaks labor speeds up. Well, it sure did! She checked me right after and I was complete! And even better, the baby had turned! What a relief! God answers prayers!
After days of contractions, I hadn't even thought about pushing. So after feeling all that relief, the next thought was "How the heck am I going to push this baby out?" I started trying to "breathe the baby down" like they say in hypnobirthing but I was tired and impatient and didn't feel like I was getting anywhere. The midwife coached me through the kind of pushing she finds works best. So I waited for the urge and then gave it my all. After a couple of tries I got it right and I was making progress! A few more of those urges to push and she was born. I was so relieved I exclaimed "I had a baby!"
By this point I was so tired I was nearly delusional. They put the baby on my stomach for a moment and Myles cut the cord because it had already stopped pulsing, then they took her away because she had junk in her respiratory system and wasn't breathing. She was in the same room but I was still sad. Then the nurse tried to give me pitocin and I didn't know why so I took my arm away and told her I'd rather not. Then the midwife told me I was bleeding a lot so I needed pitocin so I let her give it to me. They kept telling me not to worry and everything would be ok. I thought 'What? I'm bleeding a lot? Why? And why is my baby over there and not in my arms?' I was told I had two minor tears. Everything was happening so fast and I was so tired I had no idea what was really going on.
A few minutes later everything was finally okay and I got to hold my precious baby. I was so glad to look into her eyes and say hello to her. She is so beautiful and perfect. I can't believe I grew her in my tummy! I love her so much. They asked us what her name was. Myles and I agreed so we told them "Paisley Kaye Porter". Hooray! Welcome to the world Paisley Kaye!

I held her and just stared at her and fed her for over an hour. Myles was right next to me marveling with me. She was so alert and she would just stare into my eyes like she was memorizing my face. One of the first features I noticed was her nose. She has her grandma Janeal's nose.
Later, although I was exhausted I couldn't get to sleep. I decided to try and get up and use the restroom so I called the nurse. While I was out of bed I lost so much blood that I passed out! It was kind of scary! The nurses saved my life by waking me up and taking me to the bed. They gave me more pitocin and more pain killers. Then I was finally able to sleep a little.
It's been a week since then and the rest of the recovery has gone very very well. I get pretty tired after long nights and when I get tired I get emotional. Most of the time it's because I'm overwhelmed by how much I love my daughter! Overall my mood and energy has been good, and I still laugh and play with my family. Physically, the healing has been very fast. I'm out going for walks and running errands already and the swelling is almost completely gone. I can do anything for myself that I need to... If I can find time and energy.  The hardest part has been learning how to breastfeed. It takes a while to perfect the art of latching on, and it can be frustrating when your milk comes in and things get messy... but we're working on it. I'm learning new things every day.

Myles has been such a great daddy to her. He loves to hold her and he is always willing to help out in the middle of the night. I'm so grateful that I have him as my companion to help me take care of our beautiful daughter.

Paisley has been such a good baby. She only really cries when she's hungry. She loves to be held. She even let me sleep for 5 hours one night. Everything she does is cute. I love her. 

Paisley's first bath. She didn't like it much.

Empty Nesters

My awesome youngest sister Bonnie just went off to college at EAC. That means my parents are EMPTY NESTERS. And now all they do is miss us all the time. :)
I went down to Arizona a few weeks ago for a few different reasons:1) My best friend LAUREN NIELSEN got married!

It was so good to see her in the temple FINALLY being sealed to the man she loves! My grandpa was coincidentally the sealer. How cool! I am so happy for her!
2) Bonnie's Birthday
3) To see her off to college.
It sounds like she is doing great! I got to help her shop and set up her apartment. It was fun. And now she is all on her own! I love her!

Ponderings & Insights

Something really cool happened in AZ that I was thinking about last night. My nephew, Everett, is the one on the left in this photo. He was with us on the trip, he is one and a half and just learning how to talk. My sister Fiona (his Mom) and I were playing with him, and she asked "Do you remember Heavenly Father?" Everett said "Bes" (which means yes).
I was amazed! He may be just giving an answer when he doesn't really understand the question, but what if he did understand?
We tried to ask him more simple questions like "Does He love you?" and "Is He a nice guy?" but all we got after that was unintelligible baby babble.
As I was pondering this I wondered if the veil that removes our memory of the premortal existence is a gradual thing. Maybe young children really do remember because the veil doesn't completely cover their eyes yet.
I know I can't remember anything before a certain age except for scrapbooked photos and I wonder if there is a divine reason for His childrens' lack of memory of their early years. Perhaps during those years we are very close to our Heavenly Father, but in order for His plan to work He must soon remove our memory of Him completely.

I am also pondering the idea of when the spirit meets the body. This is a common, but very ambiguous question in the argument about abortion. I loathe abortion and I believe that even the smallest form of human life should be cherished. Anyway, most of our changes in this life are gradual changes. For example, we mature gradually, we gradually gain a testimony of the gospel, we gradually decide what we want to be when we grow up, etc. Could the process of coming from our premortal life to this mortal life also be a gradual one? What if, for some period of time, in the womb or out of it, we are really dwelling in both worlds to an extent? Could Everett have been closer to our Father than I realized? What a blessing it will be in my home to have children so close to my Father. I think I will constantly be asking them to give Him messages from me, asking for forgiveness or help or blessings on others. In this life I will probably never know the true process of how our spirits come into this life, but I know that these infants are pure spirits that we should cherish.

It's interesting and so cool how I can get so many small blessings and insights from God when I am obedient. The instance when my nephew said he remembered Heavenly Father occurred at a time when I was reading scriptures and praying daily. Sometimes it is difficult for me to keep that habit. But the Holy Ghost brought this to my remembrance at a time when I was also reading my scriptures. I could know so much if I were just diligent in my prayers and scripture study! Heavenly Father truly blesses me.

Sorry my thoughts are kind of scattered. It's difficult to try and fit these experiences and concepts into words.

Conception is to Marriage as the Sky is to the 3 Kingdoms of Heaven

Does that title slightly confuse you and draw you in to read my blog?

Good.

And here's an added plus: It's relevant!

So I'll start by explaining how the sky relates to the 3 degrees of glory.

If you're a Mormon and you've ever gone to Sunday school, you already know.

Heaven=3 kingdoms; Telestial, Terrestrial, and Celestial.

Telestial is the lesser.

Terrestial is next best.

Celestial is the bestest.

Well, the scriptures relate their glory to stars, moon, and sun. Hence: the sky.

Telestial=Stars.

Terrestrial=Moon.

Celestial=Sun.

(see 1 Corinthians 15:40-41)

So, have you figured out how conception is to marriage?

I was writing a paper about abortion the other day,

(btw, I loathe abortion),

and I read a quote from a General Authority

(I can't remember who but I can look it up when I get home).

It spoke of how conception occurs when two cells join together to form one living organism which will grow to become a human being.

Do you see the relation?

When a marriage occurs, a man and a woman join together to from one living entity which has limitless potential.

If you think about it a little harder, there's all sorts of neat insights one can gain from this metaphor

(like how you need two different cells to make a human embryo, you can't smush two sperm or two ova together and make anything from it).

So, in conclusion, Conception is to Marriage as the Sky is to the 3 Kingdoms of Heaven because one is a type of the other.

" True types will have noticeable points of resemblance, show evidence of divine appointment, and be prophetic of future events."

I love these little insights I gain when studying. :)

Marriage

Well It's been a good long while since I posted! I'm so horrible, the most important day of my life comes and goes and 3 months later I haven't even written about it! This is for my posterity. haha.



As time to the wedding decreased I got more and more excited! Finally it was time to head down to Arizona for the wedding and Myles and I had wondeful talks in the car about the commitments we were making, our expectations in marriage and we sorted out many of the important things. The evening we arrived in AZ it suddenly hit me that the wedding was just 2 days away and almost nothing had turned out the way I had hoped. I cried to my best friend Lauren and started getting ready for pictures the next day (Nails, get a shower, etc). The shower is a great place to cry because no one can hear you and you're washing off your make-up anyway.
The next morning, all my worries were gone! I excitedly got my hair and make-up done by Lauren (who did a fabulous job) and put my dress and accessories on. I loved the way I looked! Pictures were long, hot, but fun. I was giddy the whole time because I couldn't wait to get on to more important things like the Endowment ceremony just a few hours away!

Finally, pictures were done and I changed into my sunday clothes in the visitor center restroom. with only a few snacks to eat, I headed to my endowment ceremony. I was a little nervous about what would happen, but I had prepared myself for anything. It wasn't what I had expected. I knew there would be lots of symbolism, but I expected a few more answers. However, as I have returned often, I understand more and more of the meaning of the ceremony every time and I love returning to the temple. Heavenly Father reveals answers a little bit at a time, according to my faithfulness, and there are things about the temple I may never completely understand in this life but I know they are sacred and beautiful. It was wonderful to have my handsome, pure fiance take me through the veil and into the Celestial room to meet my family. It was so beautiful and peaceful I wanted to stay for hours with my handsome soon-to-be husband! But as my mother so kindly reminded me, we had a dinner reservation. Everyone in the temple was so helpful in guiding me where I needed to go and what to do, I was quickly with my family on my way to have some much-needed food! As the day ended I couldn't believe I was getting married the next day. I couldn't sleep that night.

The wedding day had arrived!!! I quickly but thoroughly prepared for more pictures and to see my almost-husband for the first time on our special day.The family and my bridesmaids were going crazy doing last-minute errands and decorating. Pictures went quickly and I was soon ready to be sealed to my dear Myles.
Being in the temple being sealed to him was wonderful and terrifying at the same time. It's one thing to make covenants with God, who is perfect; it is an entirely different thing to give your soul to a human being who you know is not perfect, however close he may be. In my mind I was freaking out about the HUGE commitment I was about to make, and as my turn came to make that covenant, I said to myself "okay, I'm going for it!" and I committed myself right then and there to do anything and everything it takes to make our marriage happy because I love Myles and I love God. I couldn't have made a better choice.

The rest of the day, I was THRILLED to be married to my handsome groom and I could not stop smiling even when I tried. It truly was the happiest day of my life and everything was perfect, even if it wasn't quite how I had hoped in the beginning. My dress got stepped on in the temple, and the line at the reception went long, but I didn't care. I had just been MARRIED to the most wonderful man I know! The reception went smoothly and was memorably joyful and perfect. Every song was perfect and played exactly when it needed to be, and my guests even danced a bit! I couldn't have been more "perfectly and incandescently happy".

Our short weekend-honeymoon was perfect and getting back into real life again was unwanted. But there are parts of that day that we carry with us throughout our marriage still. Everyday I love Myles more than the day before. Every day I am more sure that I made the perfect choice in marrying him. Every day we learn more about each other. Every day we get happier. School, work, mornings, finances, and other worldly responsibilities can try to get us down, but our marriage truly is the greatest joy we will ever experience and I pray that it will continue to get better throughout our eternity together.

Pictures and maybe a video are to come.